FOOD POST: Five Guys, a pilgrimage?

I'd heard so many good things, so much press and they posted so much "best burger in the world" in the window that even though we aren't on our trip yet, I had to start the tradition that I plan on running throughout the trip and visit those places that are "must's" (like Nathan's, Primanti Brothers', Rueben's, Katz Deli, etc.) Icons in their own right - places that Food Network devotes hours to telling you about what they do ;) I'd heard that Five Guys was an icon.

So - Five Guys... We have one here in Lexington, and while we'd heard good things, we hadn't had the opportunity to visit yet. Young kids can be problematic when it comes to food, and that place failed on a number of fronts. First, the kids don't like hamburgers really. Second, and most importantly - they seem to be all about the peanuts, and though you readers may not know it yet, peanuts are not for us. One of the kids is pretty allergic, and its something we stay away from. Unfortunately, while I knew they served them in the restaurant (in the shell, but I went in to get it to go), I had no idea that's what they fried with - and it was everywhere. But, once you order (and plan to eat at a different location - right next door) you do the best you can.

First impression - it was fiiine -nothing special really. Simple menu, straightforward options and they seemed nice enough. I made sure to only touch what I needed to and make sure that I knew what I was getting. Jill and I ordered our usual type of burger and I ordered fries... After I paid, I regretted that order immediately (fries, once I saw the peanut oil), but went with the flow, knowing I could keep safe as long as I only touched the bag with one hand. :)

While the menu is simple - I've done that before :: In'n'out has a menu that's simple, and I go there all the time - they just don't need more options. Five Guys does offer toppings, and there are a lot of them. Jill, as usual, went pretty plain. I chose to get what I liked (three or four things including onions and mushrooms. I knew I'd be able to judge the burger on that combination.

They don't ask anything about how you're eating. Everyone gets a sack. When I discovered the fries were fried in 100% peanut oil, and then watched them pour extras in over the top of the packaged burgers (and on the bag, and it swelled with oil from the fries), I knew I was in for a paranoid evening. You'd think that with so many allergies out there now the company would take a little different approach, especially being national. I guess they get around liability with small signs on the doors that say "Peanuts used inside. Do not take them out of the store."

Anyway - where all this is going. I took the burgers in my left hand, and we went to our other location next door, where the kids got meals of their own. I had to be very careful about what I touched, where M sat, and what Jill and I passed back and forth. Let me tell you this - none of that was worth it. If I touch M all peanutty, she reacts. If she reacts severely, I can't do anything about it until after I wash... BAD place to be - and I'll never be there again... but I digress, we were talking about taste.

TASTE Bottom line - they weren't worth it. In fact, to both Jill and I they weren't worth it if they were cooked in anything else and I could eat them everyday without worry. My opinion was simply that it was a good 'Booster Club' burger that you buy to support the team at the home games. Certainly not something I'd go out of my way for, nor something that I'd 'travel hours to eat', as the signs in their windows tout. Matter of fact - the fries were so bad (underdone and I didn't finish close to a quarter) that I'd have opted for McDonald's over these. I understand why some people might find the restaurant good, but I'll not be one of the followers. If there were any other choice in town - I'm seeking that out, and that probably includes Shell Station Hot Dogs... so, yeah... 'nuff said :)

Anyhow - after a lot of paying attention to the things I touched, tossing the offending greasy bag, making sure that I washed myself in all the ways I needed to (lips, hands, under the nails, etc.), my experience was over. Peanut Oil aside, bad fries aside, I'm not sure why people whoop and holler for this fare. Maybe my expectations are set too high? ;)