Conversation - and why I think RVers talk a lot

So the other day I was reading this article about how to start a conversation - and it rang some bells. What I found most interesting is how it made me think of why people that 'belong' to groups seem to get along so well. Groups of people that share a common interest - RVs, Classic Cars, Sports Bars, Knitting Clubs, Chess tables at the park - seem to find an easier time of meeting and having conversation - and this article really pointed out why.

"So I have developed a theory -- the theory of the third -- which says that neither person should start a conversation by talking about himself or the other person directly. Instead, you have to find a third subject, a third person, or an object to begin the conversation around."

According to this tidbit, the key to starting a conversation is to have a third party for a topic. All those groups have the party already established. They all like it (or why would they be there), they all know a little bit about what they are talking about, and they know the same about the other party - making approachability much easier. I don't know - maybe this was an obvious concept for some, but I'd never put it in specific terms before. It has really opened my eyes to the fact that we really will be more accepted on the road, and will probably not have any trouble starting conversations out there.

"The theory of the third explains why the weather is such a common resort. Unfortunately, it's so common as to be clichéd, but at least it's an attempt at neutrality -- like commenting on the interesting color of the wall you're standing next to. And that's the best way to start a conversation, with an attempt at neutrality.

This sounds like lame advice, but it's not. What you're saying is "I'm not going to invade your privacy, and you're not going to invade mine. We'll test each other out by talking about something that seems inconsequential and see if we want to deepen this a bit."

Overall, I really enjoyed the persective of the article, and I think it says a lot about why people in groups talk so easily (favorite team, talk sports, puppies in the park or kids at the mall) - clearly "an attempt at neutrality". --'We have a common like. I didn't get too personal, and you can stay non-personal until you want to get more personal.'-- Welcome to small-talk. :)

Full article: http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/personal/01/13/o.breaking.the.ice/index.html