Jill's Journal: We’re going on day #11 now since Rob left to pick up the fifth wheel. Even though I’m not the one on the road with the hours of silence and nothing to do but think, I’ve still had a few minor epiphanies (or maybe complaints?!) here.
*I love being a parent, but doing it all alone day in and day out is not the easiest thing in the world. Worse still is that Rob was gone in Vegas for a week of poker in July and will leave again in early September for another eight or nine consecutive days. That makes more than a month of “gone time” in a span of 2 1/2 months. It’s going to wear on me at some point. The very fact that I’m writing this down may prove it already is! I’m so looking forward to our family being on the road together.
*Here’s a very personal one: A year ago, I was at a wonderful weight. Thin and feeling fabulous about my body. But I’ve gained close to 20 pounds since then and no matter how hard I’ve tried, it doesn’t want to come off. Some major things have happened during that time – I stopped breastfeeding, I went on birth control for the first time in several years, and yes, I’m getting older. All that combined means inevitable weight gain. I’ve clearly known this for a while, but this week brought a realization as I’ve felt some serious sadness about an old family friend who had part of a lung removed in a second fight with cancer. I realized after she is gone, no one is going to remember that she was always a little plump. People will remember her warm, welcoming spirit instead. So here’s my epiphany: I can continue to fight my weight and be miserable or I can embrace myself the way I am and be happy. I choose happiness. I don’t have the time right now to battle weight. And, I want to be the kind of Mom who bakes cookies with her kids and enjoys the moment; not the kind who eats like a bird and makes her children weight-conscious at way too young of an age. We eat healthy and should enjoy some of the good stuff too. So, a couple of days ago, I finally bit the bullet and purchased some new clothes that actually fit. Yes, they’re two sizes bigger than my fabulous post-baby body. But this body of mine has given birth to three amazing children and I’m grateful for it. This is me. Today I will be purging my skinny clothes. Seeing them in my closet just makes me sad, so there’s no point in keeping them. I’m closer in size to where I was before children and that’s okay. I embrace me! This positive attitude is right in line with what we hope to teach our girls through the grand RV adventure.
*And the final epiphany of the week: I cannot wait to homeschool. Driving 4 1/2 miles one way through heavy traffic twice a day (and past nine other schools until we get to the one we were assigned) is killing me! I know people do it every day and I used to too; in fact, I used to commute 90 minutes each way in the brutal Southern California traffic daily. However, I long for the simple things these days. Having to get three kids out the door at the crack of daylight and fight traffic under a time clock (since three tardies in a school year is considered truancy) in order to get one child to kindergarten causes me great stress! We’re only two weeks in and I’m miserable. I thrive on routine and schedule, but this is not the good kind! Thank heaven Erika is loving kindergarten. That makes it all worth it, but I still cannot wait to homeschool!