It Can Be Done!

Jill's Journal: This is what it looks like when a family is hyper-committed to downsize, purge, and consolidate: less than 40 square feet worth of “keepers,” all from a 1,500 square foot house, garage, attic, separate office with almost 1,000 square feet of additional storage space, plus a horse barn and varied farm equipment. It really can be done!

And truly, we kept more than we thought we would. I’ll bet we could go through it again and cut it down by half. But as we’re getting down to the wire, we’ve started having thoughts like this, “Well, I really like my wine glasses. We have the storage space; why not keep them instead of having to buy them again someday when we settle down?” So yes, we kept more than we intended. But most of the boxes are full of sentiment, like an antique mirror from Rob’s grandmother who died before he was born. Or framed family portraits. Or my wedding dress (which I considered parting with, but I have three daughters and what if it means something to one of them someday?).

Our storage unit is 10x10, the size of a small horse stall; Rob’s tools and the girls’ bedroom furniture will take up the rest of the space. Life’s essentials will fit into the RV; everything else is gone or going!

It has been wonderful to go through every item in our possession. A true journey. We learned there’s so much we don’t need and/or that wasn’t worth keeping if it had been in a box for the last 10 years. How many people never go through all their belongings in their lifetime and it’s left for their children to do after they’re gone? Hopefully I'll still be on this earth for a long time to come, but I don’t want to do that to my kids. Rob and I have commented to each other so many times that everyone should downsize like this in mid-life; it’s been a bit of a roller coaster ride (lots of highs and lows) sorting through every single piece of paper, memento, item of clothing, etc. But like any great roller coaster, it has left us flushed with excitement and accomplishment at tackling it (and surviving to tell the tale)!

Grand Finale Garage Sale!

Jill's Journal: Yesterday we had the mother of all garage sales! Well, maybe not – I’m certain there have been bigger and better ones…but in our world, this one was huge. We sold everything from our couch to socks, from our kitchen table to our sheets, from the girls’ train table to our potted flowers, from laundry baskets to lamps. In short, just about everything but the kitchen sink. It was a CRAZY day.

We started before dawn, at 5am, and didn’t close up shop until 5pm after we’d even sold the heavy-duty folding tables our smaller items were resting on. The girls were such troopers, especially on such a hot day, and made us proud. We had wonderful and unexpected helpers: our friend and neighbor Lee Ann, who we learned is a born saleswoman (she was amazing!), and our friend Gretchen from Louisville, who helped keep an eye on the kids and made sure everyone had lunch (we were so grateful!).

At the end of the day, we were stunned and completely thrilled to learn we’d netted over $2400. Wow! It was a lovely and fitting end to my brief garage sale career – I really do hate them and plan to never have another!!

Garage Sale Hell

Jill's Journal: A lot of people love a good garage sale. God bless ‘em. I’m not one of them. The only thing that sounds worse to me than attending a garage sale is actually hosting one. For years, I’d pack up anything that needed to be discarded by our household (but might be useful to someone else) and happily donate it to Goodwill or some other organization. But with the large volume of possessions we’ve needed to disperse in the last few months, we’ve now had a few garage sales and planned for one last big one yesterday.

I braced myself to get through this grand finale, but when it poured rain until sunrise and left us with a soggy lawn, we decided to take advantage of our later closing date and shift it to next Saturday instead. So, yesterday we just set out a few tables of saleable items while we cleaned the garage.

If having a garage sale is a small piece of torture for me, here’s where my own personal hell comes in. A group of Jehovah’s Witnesses showed up and wouldn’t leave. I’m all for people sharing their faith, but these people were aggressive and intrusive…and somehow ended up inside my house. NINE of them. INSIDE my home.

We treat our house as our own private little sanctuary from the world and it can be hard for me sometimes to have people I like inside my home, so having a group of strangers that I was already uncomfortable with invade my house made me crazy. And it was like herding cats. I’d make a push to get them out the door and they’d push right back. It was like they’d staked their claim and weren’t going to budge.

When a few of them stepped in between me and the children, I got very anxious. When Victoria started crying, I’d had it. Mama Bear came out. I told them in no uncertain terms that they had to get out and get out now. Rob was outside trying to deal with legitimate customers and he said every single one of them apologized to him as they filed out.

I had to laugh about it when it was over because I’ve somehow turned into my Mother. When I was young, we used to live in a neighborhood where Jehovah’s Witnesses paid very regular visits. My Mom must have spent hours politely trying to get rid of them and one time, out of frustration, called the pastor of our church to come over and help her deal with them. But they still came back. My Mom hated those knocks on our door and when she saw them coming, she finally started hiding all of us in a back bedroom until they stopped knocking and went away!

I used to think that was so funny – why not just tell them you’re not interested and stop letting them waste your time? But they got me this week. If they come back, I might lock the door and hide in a bedroom too...

Warp Speed Ahead

Jill's Journal: A mere two days ago, I was completely miserable that our house hadn’t sold yet in the 12 days it was on the market. Logically, I know 12 days is a drop in the bucket, especially in the current economic climate. But mentally, I hated every showing (with an intense passion!) and felt our launch date was slipping farther and farther away.

But that was two mornings ago.

That afternoon, we got a low offer from a couple who had seen our house three days in a row. Hours of negotiating later, thanks to our steadfast determination and our diplomatic pit bull of an agent, we had a contract for only $1900 less than our asking price. It doesn’t get much better than that.

And now it’s warp speed ahead! They want to close three weeks from today, with immediate possession at closing. That sounded great at first, but it has sunk in that three weeks is FAST approaching. We suddenly need to find a new home for just about everything we own. And we don’t dare get rid of anything big before the inspection and appraisal, just in case something falls through and we have to start having showings again. Yowsa.

It WILL get done. It has to!

Yearbook of Life

Jill's Journal: In our steadfast purging, I came across a letter dated 1995 (can that really be 15 years ago already?) from my dear friend Ernie. I knew immediately why I’d kept it.

Darling, Lucille Ball-loving Ernie and I worked closely together and sat literally inches apart during our American Express years in Anaheim Hills, CA. I was just a baby, brand-new to a major corporation and wide-eyed to the ways of the world after a very sheltered childhood. He was a seasoned professional and the first person I’d ever known who openly lived an alternate lifestyle. I was enamored with him and he was charmed by my naivety. We quickly bonded. He’s a dear soul and while we still keep in touch occasionally, passing years and a few thousand miles separate us.

But this letter, dated nearly three years after the last time I’d seen him, still speaks to me. I have to share it.

“Eventually we have to sign the yearbook of life – and what will our picture look like? I want mine to have the look of excitement in my eyes – life, a picture I’d be proud to sign. The older I become, and hopefully wiser – I realize we are here but for a vanishing moment and then we’re gone. Live for the moment and make it worthwhile!”

I’m so grateful to have had inspiring people like Ernie in my life. Without a history of that kind of encouragement, would we be embarking on this adventure now? I can think of 20 other dreams we’ve also followed over the years, some big, some small – would we have had the courage to jump?

All Work and No Play…Nah

Jill's Journal: Rob’s been working so hard on all the physical repair/upgrading/beautifying of our house inside and out lately, whereas my contributions (with three little kids “helping”) are more along the lines of decluttering/purging/packing. But last night, after the girls’ bedtime, we roped my sister, Kristi, into the mix and the three of us set out to paint the master bedroom. It was last done 11 1/2 years ago when we moved in and definitely needed a fresh coat of paint and a more neutral color.

Armed with paintbrushes and margaritas, we primered and painted and drank until the wee hours of the morning. Kristi’s and my margarita consumption and giggles soon outpaced our painting until Rob finally took away our brushes with orders to simply keep him company. It was close to 2:00 a.m. before the walls were fully transformed from a bold, deep green to a gentle “wicker.”

I can’t speak for those two, but it certainly was the most fun I’ve ever had working on a home project! Kristi's photo on the right confirms it.

“Making Room to Live”

Jill's Journal: As we continue to find homes for nearly all our worldly possessions, I continue to be inspired by random articles. A recent one, entitled “For Those Who Can’t Let Go: Some Tips and Tricks,” was clearly meant for people who have more trouble with this than I do…so I forwarded it to my husband! Ha – he actually should get mad props because he’s doing better with this process than I ever dreamed he could. I’m insanely proud of him.

Anyway, the last line in the brief little article (sadly, I can’t remember where I found it or who wrote it) really hit home. It said, in full, “Finally, and most important: remember that you are not so much getting rid of stuff as making room to live.”

Beautifully said.

Three Months and Counting!

Jill's Journal: It won’t be long! Our days right now are filled to the brim with preparations for our grand adventure. Rob’s office/storage space has been completely cleaned out. All of our horse and farm equipment is only days away from being totally eliminated. We were hoping to get our house on the market around March 15, but we’ve still got a good chunk of work to do to have it in tip-top sale shape. My dear 90-year-old grandmother passed away this week and I’ll be going to California for a few days for her services and to be with family. The trip will cause us to lose an entire weekend of work, but that’s okay – it’s a necessary thing. The rest of it will all get done. We’ve made huge strides and will continue to do so.

There are signs of spring; it’s a beautiful thing! We’ll start really kicking butt and taking names now. We've had some rough winter weather and several snow days. Each snow day taken by the school district caused another day to be added to the end of the school year…and another day of delay to our “launch date.” Hopefully that’s all behind us now and we can see a concrete finish date to Erika’s Kindergarten...and to the beginning of our family adventure!

Launch Date in Five Months

Jill's Journal: Our preparation continues as we start wrapping up the year. We are a mere five months, give or take a few days, from launch date. There is still so much to do. It seems so far away in that we cannot wait to get on the road, but so close in what needs to be done before we can leave. I’m still purging like crazy – selling items on Craig’s List, eBay, etc. until I’m blue in the face. The more I get rid of, the more I want to get rid of – it’s kind of addicting!

Rob is completely moved out of his office now, which includes the massive storage room that held many truckloads worth of stuff. Our garage is packed to the gills as Rob sorts through the last of what was there. And we still have some farm equipment in outbuildings at Rob’s mother’s place that needs to be dealt with and sold. However, the inside of our house is truly down to pretty much what we use on a regular basis and that feels pretty awesome.

Obviously, much, much more will go when the house does. We plan to put the house on the market in February or March since spring is the supposedly the best time to sell out here. That date is speedily approaching!

Rob is in the midst of finishing up his massive fifth wheel projects – building bed rails and ladders for the girls’ bunks, modifying a closest to hold a washer/dryer, and building a permanent desk for his workspace.

I’m in the throes of my biggest project to date…I’ve always been the family photographer (for extended family too) and have literally thousands upon thousands of photographs from over the years. They’re extremely important to me and are my most precious possessions. I’m scanning each and every one of them in so I can eliminate the hard copy and have it all digitally instead. We must travel light, you know! It’s such a monumental task that I honestly don’t know if I can physically have it done before we leave, but I’m giving it my best shot and will possibly outsource some of it soon.

Whew! The beat goes on.

First Garage Sale!

Jill's Journal: Last week we had our first official garage sale. Naturally, it was the coldest day of the season…we went from a delightfully sunny autumn to arctic conditions overnight, but it was a resounding success nonetheless. We bundled up against the cold and, with the wonderful help of Kristi and Adam, parted with hundreds of small items and a few bigger ones. It took hours to put everything out – I had been cleaning out closets and drawers and old boxes for a few weeks and the pile in the garage was daunting. And absolutely nothing was valuable! But we had great fun, made $487 from a bunch of junk we hadn’t used in ages anyway (and won’t miss), and it felt FANTASTIC to get some things out of the house.

One might think our house might be feeling a bit sparse, but that’s not the case at all. The drawers and cupboards and closets are all a bit lighter, but nothing big is gone yet. We're still planning to live here for approximately six more months, so I can’t do anything too drastic yet!

At the end of the garage sale, I threw most of the smaller stuff still left into big garbage bags and both Kristi and I made a trip to Goodwill. And some of the big stuff that really wasn't sellable afterward -- like old lights, an old dining room table that Rob used for poker at the office, a beat-up Christmas tree stand, etc. -- we put at the end of our driveway with a "Free" sign on it. It was all gone in no time! It amazes me what people are willing to take.

I also found a home this week for more than 1,000 issues of The Blood-Horse magazine that I had been saving for a future home library. That was hard for me to do -- I'd written in a few hundred of them, but I couldn't keep them. They took up 17 big, heavy boxes and had to go. That was bittersweet.

I still have a lot of work to do. This was just a dent, but a good dent. :-) We’re definitely moving in the right direction.

And the Purging Marches On

Jill's Journal: It seems not too many days go by without me purging items, whether that means selling, donating, or destroying them. Last week I sold a saddle to a lady in Tennessee and donated a mountain of old tack to Central Kentucky Riding for the Handicapped. And a few days ago, Adam and Kristi had a massive burn pile and I burned 11 – yes, 11! – file boxes of old papers. Electric bills from 15 years ago, performance reviews from old jobs, etc. just don’t seem so important to keep! Seeing all that paper – records of life’s details – go up in flames was remarkably freeing.

We actually had a pretty uncluttered and tidy life compared to the average American family before this whole process started, but it’s amazing how much stuff one really doesn’t need.

Occasionally I glance at a site called unclutterer.com and a recent post struck close to home. In brief:

“Even if you live to be 100, life is short… There are only 24 hours in a day, and I want to spend those hours focused on what is important to me… Uncluttering is about clearing the distractions that get in the way of your remarkable life. Once the distractions are gone, you can pursue your priorities and make the most of your life. My life’s motto is to Carpe Vitam — Seize Life.”

It sort of sums up why we’re seeking this adventure. We want to focus on what matters most to us – our little family – and the fabulous purging we’re doing now will help remove all the distractions. Bring it on!

Epiphany City…or Maybe Just a Bitch Fest

Jill's Journal: We’re going on day #11 now since Rob left to pick up the fifth wheel. Even though I’m not the one on the road with the hours of silence and nothing to do but think, I’ve still had a few minor epiphanies (or maybe complaints?!) here.

*I love being a parent, but doing it all alone day in and day out is not the easiest thing in the world. Worse still is that Rob was gone in Vegas for a week of poker in July and will leave again in early September for another eight or nine consecutive days. That makes more than a month of “gone time” in a span of 2 1/2 months. It’s going to wear on me at some point. The very fact that I’m writing this down may prove it already is! I’m so looking forward to our family being on the road together.

*Here’s a very personal one: A year ago, I was at a wonderful weight. Thin and feeling fabulous about my body. But I’ve gained close to 20 pounds since then and no matter how hard I’ve tried, it doesn’t want to come off. Some major things have happened during that time – I stopped breastfeeding, I went on birth control for the first time in several years, and yes, I’m getting older. All that combined means inevitable weight gain. I’ve clearly known this for a while, but this week brought a realization as I’ve felt some serious sadness about an old family friend who had part of a lung removed in a second fight with cancer. I realized after she is gone, no one is going to remember that she was always a little plump. People will remember her warm, welcoming spirit instead. So here’s my epiphany: I can continue to fight my weight and be miserable or I can embrace myself the way I am and be happy. I choose happiness. I don’t have the time right now to battle weight. And, I want to be the kind of Mom who bakes cookies with her kids and enjoys the moment; not the kind who eats like a bird and makes her children weight-conscious at way too young of an age. We eat healthy and should enjoy some of the good stuff too. So, a couple of days ago, I finally bit the bullet and purchased some new clothes that actually fit. Yes, they’re two sizes bigger than my fabulous post-baby body. But this body of mine has given birth to three amazing children and I’m grateful for it. This is me. Today I will be purging my skinny clothes. Seeing them in my closet just makes me sad, so there’s no point in keeping them. I’m closer in size to where I was before children and that’s okay. I embrace me! This positive attitude is right in line with what we hope to teach our girls through the grand RV adventure.

*And the final epiphany of the week: I cannot wait to homeschool. Driving 4 1/2 miles one way through heavy traffic twice a day (and past nine other schools until we get to the one we were assigned) is killing me! I know people do it every day and I used to too; in fact, I used to commute 90 minutes each way in the brutal Southern California traffic daily. However, I long for the simple things these days. Having to get three kids out the door at the crack of daylight and fight traffic under a time clock (since three tardies in a school year is considered truancy) in order to get one child to kindergarten causes me great stress! We’re only two weeks in and I’m miserable. I thrive on routine and schedule, but this is not the good kind! Thank heaven Erika is loving kindergarten. That makes it all worth it, but I still cannot wait to homeschool!

Craig’s List, eBay, and Purging…Oh My

Jill's Journal: No one can say I’m not taking downsizing seriously. A little more than two months ago, I started cutting down on stuff. Probably 99.9% of people in this country have more things than they could ever need and we’re no exception. I’ve always hated clutter and always liked living minimalistically, but that doesn’t mean we’re down to the bare bones, by any means. Not yet, anyway.

My first big foray into cleansing the “stuff” palate was finding new homes for all my horse racing videos. We’re talking videotapes of every Breeders’ Cup race since its inception (1984), all Triple Crown races from the last 20 years, and literally thousands of other races and racing industry events.

This was a big step. This collection of videos held a very special place in my heart. For Pete’s sake, we moved to Kentucky for horse racing and this wonderful game puts food on our table and is our sole source of income. To say we’d be lost without racing is an understatement. It’s more than a passion…it’s a way of life and a major love.

I knew after saying goodbye to these videos that everything else would be relatively easy, so that’s why I started with them. I’m pleased to say I found good racing homes for all of them and they promise to be loved and cherished. :-) It was bittersweet to part with them, but I did it.

And then I delved into Craig’s List. It’s not my favorite thing, as I hate having to meet people to exchange an item for money, but it’s working out well. I’ve already sold several larger items – mostly baby stuff – and gotten cold, hard cash in exchange for them. It feels good!

And now tonight, I just closed on my first eBay sale – it was just a few dollars for some scrapbooking scissors, but it was a start. I had dabbled in eBay 10 years ago and I certainly had to jump through a few hoops to reactive my seller’s account, but I couldn’t be more excited. It’s such a thrill to start parting with things and get some money for them! Every item sold represents another step closer to our adventure of a lifetime.